remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
