How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
