Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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