I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
