The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
