The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
