Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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