just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
