A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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