I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize