Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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