Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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