Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
