I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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