I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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