Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
