dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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