her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize