Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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