Ketchup is God's man juice
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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