the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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