evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
