I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
