My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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