i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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