operation harelip BJ is a go
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
