i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i think i just lost a toe
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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