yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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