Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
