Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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