What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
