just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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