well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
