Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
