youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize