No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
