Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
