u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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