She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
This show inspires me to have sex in space
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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