I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
