it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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