hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize