U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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