I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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