I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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