The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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