Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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