at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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