Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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