i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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