Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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