The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dick very happy bro
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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