If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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