worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize