Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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