I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
