omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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