i used baking grease as lip gloss
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
