Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
