last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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