it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
