I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
