We won't sleep together?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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