i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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