there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
